A lot of
times, couples get pissed off with each other by the way they respond to each
other. We can do better if we learn responses in the “affirmative” and not in the “combative”.
times, couples get pissed off with each other by the way they respond to each
other. We can do better if we learn responses in the “affirmative” and not in the “combative”.
Statement:
Are
you okay; is anything the matter?
Are
you okay; is anything the matter?
Wrong response: Can’t you see
yourself; what kind of question is that?
yourself; what kind of question is that?
Right response: I’m not feeling
fine; I think I need some attention.
fine; I think I need some attention.
Statement:
I got wounded in kitchen.
I got wounded in kitchen.
Wrong response: I’ve told you to
always be careful with knife.
always be careful with knife.
Right response: Oh sorry, let me
have a look. Please be more careful with knife.
have a look. Please be more careful with knife.
Statement:
I’ll like to eat corn flakes.
I’ll like to eat corn flakes.
Wrong response: No way! It’s for the
children; and that’s for one month! Take garri if you are hungry.
children; and that’s for one month! Take garri if you are hungry.
Right response: Okay, you can eat a
little. I trust you’ll give us money to buy another.
little. I trust you’ll give us money to buy another.
Statement:
I’m really hungry.
I’m really hungry.
Wrong response: Even I myself have
not eaten since morning.
not eaten since morning.
Right response: Oh sorry, let’s see
if there’s something you can manage for now.
if there’s something you can manage for now.
Statement:
Why don’t you do it this way?
Why don’t you do it this way?
Wrong response: Why is it that you
always find fault with what I do?
always find fault with what I do?
Right response:
Well, I’ve tried this before and I think it will work. If not, I’ll try that.
Well, I’ve tried this before and I think it will work. If not, I’ll try that.
Statement:
I want more food.
I want more food.
Wrong response: Ha-ha, it has
finished. You want to finish all the food in the house?
finished. You want to finish all the food in the house?
Right response: Sorry, please manage
that for now. We are down on food stuff.
that for now. We are down on food stuff.
Statement:
Handle that thing carefully please.
Handle that thing carefully please.
Wrong response: Am I that daft? You
will just be talking to me as if I don’t have any sense.
will just be talking to me as if I don’t have any sense.
Right response: Yes dear, I will.
Statement:
Haven’t you finished what you are doing?
Haven’t you finished what you are doing?
Wrong response: You are seated there
doing nothing and you are asking if I’ve not finished!
doing nothing and you are asking if I’ve not finished!
Right response: It will still take a
while; can you please lend me a hand?
while; can you please lend me a hand?
Statement:
I bought this on my way; I thought it will be useful.
I bought this on my way; I thought it will be useful.
Wrong response: How much did you
buy it? What! That’s too expensive – wọ́n
ti gbá ẹ!
buy it? What! That’s too expensive – wọ́n
ti gbá ẹ!
Right response: Thank you; it will
indeed be useful. Thanks for the surprise.
indeed be useful. Thanks for the surprise.
Statement:
Am feeling Horny today, I will like us to make love.
Am feeling Horny today, I will like us to make love.
Wrong Response: Ha ha, is it food.
Am tired oo.
Am tired oo.
Right Response: Whaooo. Dear, for it
to be mutual enjoyment, can you please wait till early in the morning, I’m so
tired right now.
to be mutual enjoyment, can you please wait till early in the morning, I’m so
tired right now.
A gentle answer turns
away wrath but a harsh word stirs anger
away wrath but a harsh word stirs anger
